Me: Oh my god. My period is late.
Me: AM I PREGNANT?
Me: Still a virgin.
Me: I must be carrying the next baby jesus.
Me: Seems legit.
xvxavier: If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
sprucespanner: my blog is actually a horrific mess of different fandoms and things that don’t really relate to each other but i thought were funny
billywilder: I hate to be “that guy” who finds homoerotic subtext in just about anything, but I was just watching Brokeback Mountain and let me tell you
kismetjeska: kismetjeska: There should be an adaption of Pride and Prejudice with him: as Mr Darcy and with him: as Mr Bingley Just sayin’. Shamelessly reblogging my own post because reasons.
rsoy: coffeeandklonopin: carpe diem - seize the day carpe noctem - seize the night carpe natibus - seize the butt
cosmo tip #286
camelotgirl92: expertcosmotips: take ur sexy striptease a step further by peeling all ur flesh off LET ME FEEL YOUR BONES BABY
lemonorangelime: My brother just called Tahno, “Tahnyo.”
ssweaterweather: have you ever had a friend who is literally like your soul mate but like in a friendship way like you are so compatible and perfect for each other